Yes, this too is a motherfucking website.

This bitch is served via a CMS (content management system), concrete5 to be exact. And this site is fucking perfect too.

I mean, sure is nice and better still. But you ever try to edit that shit? I mean this is the web we're talking about. You got a problem with a form? An image?

Would it hurt to have a kitten on your site? Here's a kitten:

Ooh, page weight! Well fuck you and the browser you rode in on! This is our web. Sure when I was a kid we were all 128 kilobytes light. Page weight, shit, that was system memory, and we were glad we had that much.

And why use a CMS? All that php and databases shit? Well I'll tell you why.


  • Because it make getting online easy as a goddamn facebook account. I mean you can literally set up a website faster than you can watch a BeyoncĂ© video. Who watches that shit anyway.
  • Because you want more than one page on your site.
  • Because you're not gonna be happy with your website if you can't edit it, right? You want to call your web guy every time you want to change a typo. That fucker charges by the hour! It's bad enough you have to pay for hosting, am I right?
  • Because you don't know html and you don't want to learn. You're too busy running your company or just thinking of witticisms to put in your blog. Besides ftp, right. What the fuck is ftp? Sounds like an STD, bitch!
  • Because you are a web guy (gal, girl, or TBD). Shit, make your life a little easier with concrete5. This thing has version control.
  • Because you want to grow, have guest bloggers from Southern Sudiekistan (or whatever). You can set them up an account where they can login and add content anytime with their shitty browser. Granular permissions that would make the NSA envious are built in.
  • Just Because. Use concrete5 and be happy.

Kitten videos are easy with concrete5.